Whirlwind

It is Friday morning, Febuary 13th, the day before Valentines day.I'm sitting in the basement of our newly leased home in Nashville. This is my space, the "man cave" as Mee, my esposa, tagged it. These last few weeks of moving , shifting, driving back and forth to the Ranch, have been a whirl wind of feeling, inspiration, sadness and creativity. I left Tennessee 7 years ago when Mee and I hooked up. I left for the west coast, Malibu and the waves of my childhood dreams. All through those seven years I felt a thread of connection that kept pulling my attention and heart to look back toward Tennessee but not enough of a pull to come back to stay.
My m.o. has been to create and move on, while looking for another or other home base. Tennessee will always be a home base but like leaving your parents house as a kid it's not where I want to settle down.Working in Malibu with three different recovery programs was a good experience and a frustrating one..frustrating cuse what I would see as vision seemed to be lost to the people I worked for or with. When it comes to creating doorways back to integrity I won't compromise for the sake of fear or maximizing profits. Staying with my vision has been a big part of The Ranch, here in Tennessee, evolving into a most spectacular offering to those willing to recreate their lives away from suffering toward what they are inspired to live as happy, joyous and free individuals.
Over time people have come to refer to what I do as "Spiritual" work or spiritual recovery. With my friend Gary Seidlers encouragement I started SPIRIT RECOVERY as a brand name to use for what would be created in addition to the treatment center work. Spirit recovery is an accurate label...that is what we are offered should we decide to really undo our attachments to how we were taught, as children, to see and live in this world.Our Spirit is our truth, our essence. Our spirit is born into this world and is not of this world. When our physical body dies our spirit is free to return to source should we die with the awareness that we are not "of this world".
Working in the treatment business leaves very little room for a practice of Spirit as the truth of who or what we are and who or what we might recover. When recovery is all about measuring up, then fitting in and following rules is more important than authenticity and connection to that Great Mystery that is the truth of life.We throw around the term Spirituality as a component of recovery as though it is a separate external part of us, something we aspire to that's out on the horizon with our higher power or God..somewhere "out there".
There is no out there. There is no separation between recovery, spirituality, clean days, peace, freedom or suffering. Those are all just words that all have a different exact meaning depending on who you might be talking to at the time. Even the word spirituality will morph and shift as we move through life, if we are paying attention to anything beyond what we believe.
My relationship with myself is my relationship with God or Spirit. I can't possibly treat God or spirit any better than I treat myself. I am an aspect of the one that created me so my closest relationship with God or spirit is me. If I would honor God then I must honor myself , if I would love God then I must love myself. When I've had this conversation with others, many times I'm told that I have a selfish point of view...I don't think so. Me being less than is a self important, excuse for not having the willingness to accept the truth within me as my guiding light. There is no program or Church or book of prophecy that can even begin to touch the living presence that animates this form of mine.Unless creation is an inconsistent factory of life then there is perfection within each creation and how that perfection is expressed is Creators business, not mine. My role is to love it all and have faith in that mystery that I'll never "understand" ,and, will always live in closest relationship with.That mystery is the truth, how we define and measure that mystery is our folly and choice. So what, big deal...
With all that said, my return to Tennessee is my honoring that calling from within that I just can't ignore today. I tried, even when I'd be surfing in my beloved Mexico I'd hear that voice within say.."it's time to go back to The Ranch for a while", "oh come on". I'd plead, "this is where I belong, we love it here, this is our mothers land and I'm being good"...no reply, just that feeling that, damn it, I gotta go back.You see I love that voice and the feeling that comes with it even when I don't like what it's saying. I honor that voice because I honor myself and that voice comes from the deepest aspect of myself.My personality won't be happy, not at first anyway, and my physical body still feels sad about leaving Mexico but I am not bound by the yearnings of my physical body.I take care of my physical body but my body does not own me.
I learn from life as I live my life and I pay attention as well as I can to all the aspects of my being human. I am Human and through that relationship I gain experience and wisdom and that's between me and life not me and the World. There are very few institutions in this world that I choose to give power to. As I have learned that peace can only be found within I have let go of needing the world to validate my insecurities. I have methodically taken my power back from all those places, people and things that I had given power to prior to my waking up.There is no judgement involved only an exercising of responsibility. I am completely responsible for what I empower in my life.
As my whirlwind of movement settles back down this heartland of America will be our home again....until the next mission or adventure or "spiritual" calling. Meanwhile , back at The Ranch.....it's time to go to work.

Simply Aware

It's Wednesday afternoon. Yesterday evening I returned home from another Spirit Recovery Journey to Teotihuacan, Mexico. Entering into the body of Teo, as we call our home there, is always a walk into the truth of life and that truth is a great mystery.This was a special journey that brought together a group of people who all connected like the spokes on a wheel, all pointing to the center. This was the first Buddhist/Toltec Journey I'm aware of, ever , in the ancient history of Teotihuacan.My friend Kevin Griffin brought years of practice and perspective to our adventure leading us all in meditation and Buddhist teaching then shifting to a student on his first journey to Teo.

The blending of meditation with the Buddhist energies and the power of the Toltec mysticism opened a great spectrum of possibilities for all of us involved.

Ok, so I was just writing away when my daughter called me" Daddy, there are whales in the front of our house", Bella was jumping up and down on the front porch and pointing to the great white plumes of spray coming from the family of whales passing by, headed south.From Teotihuacan to the present in a flash, from writing my memory and story to seeing these great creatures of the sea, traveling the coast of Mexico.Life flashes and with it my attention shifts to the horizon and the whales.

Living these days is a mastery of shifting attention. I have a lot of choices , everyday, as we all do. After years of working, living and playing with my self and how I move through time and space as a human being , I have actually become grounded in the choices and the living as a projection and reaction to my choosing.
Standing on the porch with the energy of Teotihuacan buzzing through my veins I'm completely in tune with the Whales, the sound of the waves, my Bella's excitement..and that's it...I don't have so much to say now, so I won't...in fact I want to go for a body surf and get smashed on the sand bar....

Next Saturday we all fly back to Tennessee and The Ranch for Christmas. Like changing channels life keeps moving ..Onward...Here comes Santa Claus...Vaya Con Dios...Lee

Theme Park America

The last two weeks have taken me from Mexico, to Tennessee and The Ranch, then on to Jacksonville, Fla. my old home town where I met up with my beautiful wife and our daughters, then down to Orlando and theme Park Landia, back to Jacksonville, and finally the long flight from the east coast of the U.S. to the west coast of Mexico. 

While we were in Orlando I had a most interesting dream...Dream Time U.S.A. Standing on a street corner in a typical American town looking around at all the busy people...everything seemed so familiar. Fast pace, overweight, staring straight ahead, the people moved like they were on a conveyor belt. When I looked down I could see that they all appeared to have their own unique path, but underneath the level they perceived themselves on, there was a greater escalator that allowed a perception of individuality, and that perception was an illusion. 

In my dream there was a hummm that resonated through the reality of Dream Time America. I could not hear it as much as I could feel the vibration. When I would put my attention on the vibration the entire visual of the world around me would begin to distort, like having interference on your television screen. A couple times I would make eye contact with someone and just as I would ask them a question or simply say “Hi,” they'd look away and redirect their attention to the dream or life they were living in. 

I say “living in” because by now I was completely aware that each individual was living a reality unique to them, while at the same time believing that everyone was seeing and feeling the same way they did. My being in their reality was a disturbance to how their attention was locked into their bubble of reality. Talking to me would open the door for them to see through the illusion of where and how they had defined their world. 

From down the street I saw a bus coming. It rolled to a stop and a few people got off appearing to be more awake than those walking through the dream world. I watched as they looked around making small talk. A larger group got on the bus, as the door closed and the bus pulled into traffic I saw a sign that read “THEME PARK AMERICA.” 

Wow, Dude. Turning back to the people who'd just gotten off the bus I realized they were from another country. Their language wasn't familiar. This was a trip. When these not Americans began to walk down the street it was clear to me that they were not connected to the conveyor system that the locals were on. Their bubble of reality was a different frequency from the vibration that I had been feeling. Looking up there was a great neon sign that flashed “Theme Park America Now Serving Over 300 Million customers.” 

Then I woke up...What's all that mean? You tell me...how’s your conveyor running these days...Do you hear a hummmm just beyond your ears’ ability to define it? I can't get that picture of our culture as a giant theme park out of my mind. In many ways it seems to fit better than the official version...Gotta go, my Bus is coming... 

Do We Create Our Own Experiences?

The following story sparked an interesting email conversation between myself and Brother Bruce...

Father confesses to abuse in Austrian incest case:

by Philippe Schwab

Mon Apr 28, 12:51 PM ET An elderly Austrian confessed Monday to imprisoning his daughter in a windowless cellar for 24 years and fathering her seven children, prosecutors said.

Josef Fritzl, 73, "admitted building the dungeon and to holding his daughter and three children there," prosecution spokesman Gerhard Sedlacek told AFP.

Fritzl admitted incest "but insisted there was no force involved," said Sedlacek.
One of the children died shortly after birth. "He disposed of it in the furnace of his building," chief investigator Franz Polzer told a press conference in the eastern town of Amstetten, about 100 kilometers (60 miles) west of Vienna, where the family lived.

Fritzl was to be brought before an investigating magistrate on Monday and faces several more days of questioning over the case which has shocked Austria.

His daughter Elisabeth, now 42, has alleged she was drugged by her father in August 1984 and had been his prisoner ever since, giving birth to seven children in the "dungeon".

The six surviving children are three boys and three girls aged between five and 19.

The case came to light after the eldest of the six children, Kerstin, was admitted to hospital on April 19 with serious health problems. Doctors looking for background information stepped up efforts to find the mother and the whole horrific story came to light when Fritzl allowed them to establish contact with his daughter.

Elisabeth Fritzl and three of her children, who had until now never seen sunlight, were kept in three cramped underground rooms in the family house.

Photographs of the rooms, measuring "50-60 square metres in all," with a ceiling just 1.70 metres (5.5 feet) high, according to Sedlacek, were released by police. They showed a well-furnished living area, with sink, shower, a small kitchen area and two small bedrooms.

The cellar was hidden behind a reinforced concrete door which could only be opened with a numbered code. There were no windows and the prisoners' only contact with the outside world were a radio, television and VCR.

This ironically helped Elisabeth Fritzl escape, after she saw the hospital's appeal on television for more background information on Kerstin and persuaded her father to let her out, Polzer said.

Kerstin was "critical but stable," doctors at the hospital where she was being treated, said, without giving more details.

Franz Pucher from the Lower Austrian police told journalists: "This case is unique in this country's criminal history."
Polzer said however there was "a wide range of questions that still need answering" such as how Fritzl supplied the woman and children with food, how the babies were born and cared for in such cramped conditions, and how he could have incarcerated his victims for so long without his wife knowing.

Fritzl legally adopted three of the children -- two boys and one girl -- when they were still babies. He is said to have told his his wife Rosemarie, 69, -- with whom he had seven children -- and local authorities that his daughter had left the babies on the doorstep.

Each delivery was accompanied by a letter purportedly signed by her saying she could not support the child because she already had others to care for.

Elisabeth Fritzl also told investigators her mother knew nothing about the sexual abuse she had endured since the age of 11, some seven years before she was locked away.

The trio went to school as normal, seemingly unaware that their mother and three other siblings were trapped underground.

Neither neighbours nor social services appear to have had any inkling, either.

It is the latest in a series of horror abuse cases to have stunned Austrians, with the Oesterreich tabloid calling it "the worst crime of all time," and the Kronen-Zeitung portraying Fritzl as a "monster, a brutal tyrant."

DNA tests are being carried out to confirm if he is the father of the six surviving children.

Austria's most notable sequestration case was that of Natascha Kampusch, who was kidnapped on her way to school in 1998, and held captive for over eight years in the basement of a house near Vienna before escaping two years ago.

Three young girls near Linz, in northern Austria, were also locked up for seven years by their mentally ill mother.

Brother Bruce Writes:

I was wondering who was dreaming the experience in the following story? Do believe that the daughter created her life to be used and abused? I am curious as to what your take is...

Thanks in advance

Love and Light

Brother Bruce

I responded:

Ok We humans are dreaming, living out our imaginings as projections based on distorted, insane beliefs, fears, and simple insanity and from this place within our minds we act out all the stuff that we call "real" in this world. You know that place within you that is the presence and peace of God and we also all have that place within us that we have the free will to "dream " our reality from. Being born into this world is being born into a legacy which you inherit like it or not . That legacy is what we pass on from generation to generation with or without awareness. To wake up to how and what we are creating [dreaming} with our life is the first step in taking responcibility for our personal creation and evolving our "personal" legacy from what we inherit to what we are in truth as the children of God. Free will is a huge factor here. Why we come into this world in our particular situations is beyond me t o know. What I believe is that we all have the ability to bring more love, truth and light into our personal lives when we have the opportunity to awaken to the power within us and that is the evolution of humanity ,slow but sure. The toltecs percieved the reality of the asleep humans as hell and this story is evidence that hell is right here now not some place we are sent. We.humanity, created this mess and we will create our way beyond this mess when and if we should decide to do so. Free will......Thanks for staying connected...Love, Lee

Bruce responds with:

Yes... I agree with most everything you have written. Based on what you said, Now I must ask you, do you believe Why we come into this world in our particular situations being beyond your level of awareness would lead me to believe that you would agree that there is a greater level of consciousness that is superior to that which most of us are aware of that directs and orchestrates the circumstances within what some call Creation. Orchestrating to me does not mean controlling but simple responding to what we call for. As you said, free-will is not only essential but the most sacred gift we have been given. If you are interested in discussing deeper levels of understanding, such as the difference between linear time and that which exists beyond the boundaries of time and space I would be happy to hear your thoughts and explore where most never go. P.S. Sharing understanding is what I have come into this world to do. There is nothing that I feel is more important.

Love and Light

BB

I write back yet again:

This is great. I live with this amazing feeling that becomes my experience when I'm responding to questions like this. "I don't know", is the truth most of the time when we get outside what's familiar and that answer works because the truth is not in the words but rather in the experience of putting our attention on the question and then feeling with the answer, not reducing the answer to words. We are here to bring the experience of Love into as many forms as we might imagine... we seem to be stuck on imagining other shit tho..........that leaves a lot of room for doing cool things...where were you in 69'.......