Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Thanksgiving Journey




It's Wednesday Morning, the day before Thanksgiving in the U.S.A.. I'm sitting in my office in the back room of our little Mexican jungle home listening to the sound of Bella,6, and Lola,2, and their cartoons on T.V. Thank You life for those sounds..I love them now more than ever and I've been listening to my babies cartoons for 25 years, my oldest daughter is 25, almost 26.

Just behind the sound of the T.V. I hear the waves breaking on the beach in front of our home..Thank you MaMa Ocean...I have loved you all my life and you have Loved me back in so many ways.

From the kitchen I smell corn meal and Banana pancakes cooking on the grill, that's my Mee, Bella and Lola's Mama, cooking breakfast. Thank you life for setting us up to meet, of course we took it from there and what a trip we are sharing together.

My thanksgiving is all around me, everyday. It's not some far away sentiment for the past or hope for the future. I have no qualifications that must be fullfilled or pieces missing. My life is what it is and I have learned through trial and the art of paying attention that loving life happens right now just the way it is. Thank you life for offering me the opportunity to wake up to my life being my choice and your gift.

First thing this morning I opened my e-mails and had an e-mail from Miles Adcox, our C.E.O. at The Ranch. He was sharing some of what happens at The Ranch on a daily basis and it felt so close and so far away at the same time. Miles has brought 100% of himself to what my partner Julie Norton and I set in motion 10 years ago and he has connected how life works through all of us connected to The Ranch with the rest of the Recovery business with such style and integrity, thank you life for keeping our dream alive and prosperous and always moving forward with you.

As I'm writing this our beloved Nanny {Peggy} and Bubba,{Ted}, Raess have let go of 30+ years in their little magical kingdom on Holmby Ave. in Los Angeles and are moving north to a new magical kingdom in Sonoma County, Ca. Ted and Peggy are the vehicle life used to connect Me and Mee seven years ago. They were my first Toltec teachers and are Bella and Lola's Grand Parents because that's how life connected us. After all Grand Parents are one part blood and three parts love and they got the Love part down like a rug. Thank you life for finding so many cool ways to have our lives interconnected, all we had to do was let it happen.

In a while we'll load up our 98' Suburban Mexi Rig and drive to Guadalajara to spend Thanksgiving with our great friends Lalo and Gina Portillo. Sometimes, the greatest friendships just happen and we didn't have to do anything more than be good and honest with each other and life takes care of the rest. That's exactly what happened between our family and the Portillo family. Thank you life for life being so easy when we stop complicating it.

So to all of us living in this world and all the other worlds that touch ours, Happy Thanks giving.. Humm..by separating the words I just realized that Thanks Giving is like Love or Gratitude, we feel the energy of our offering moving through us into the world and Thanks Giving just feels good moving through. For sure the future will continue to be the result of how we choose, one person at a time, to live and be with and in Life. That's our free will in action and once again, thank you life for allowing us to co-create as we go and hopefully to learn from our creation. We humans have been a bit stuck for a lot of years now but with all the chaos we face today I'm sure we'll wake up to the amazing array of choices that life offers us in every moment and every day.

Finally, to my personal family, I love you all whether we're in this world or wherever we go from here, a big hug to you all. Vaya Con Dios, Lee

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

I FOUND THE ANSWER IN A LEAF


New York City, November 14-16, 2008
Lee McCormick’s Spirit Recovery Journey
Title: I found the answer in a leaf.
By Michelle Larson
Structured religion has never spoken to me. I have experimented and dabbled
throughout my life, always with the same ultimate outcome…a feeling that it just
doesn’t fit. Living a moral, caring, sharing and loving life has become what I try
to achieve.
As I delve into my forties though, the question is raised – can I follow my own
moral compass, have a higher purpose, feel enlightenment and grow as a human
being without sitting on a pew on Sunday mornings?
I have read dozens of books that say it is possible, yet after the inspiration of the
read fades and the attempts to consistently apply the methods have failed, my
search would begin again. I have traveled the world and found myself enchanted
with the peacefulness of the Hindus in Bali, the Buddhists in Thailand, and
appreciate aspects of Christianity practiced in so many countries around the
globe. Can elements of these, and something entirely different be combined to
create a customized path that I can follow?
It wasn’t a coincidence that I was sent on assignment to cover Lee McCormick’s
Spirit Recovery weekend in New York City. Although I didn’t have a clue what to
expect, my mind and heart were open to the possibilities ahead.
Twenty participants gathered in a dance studio on the fourth floor of a
downtown high rise. The hustle and bustle of the city seemed in contrast to
where I felt my mind needed to be for spiritual enlightenment, but I was going
to leave my preconditions behind and let it unfold as it may. I was just happy
that no one was wearing a purple jogging suit and KoolAid was not available on
the refreshment table. We all took off our shoes and set up chairs in a circle in
the middle of the room. Many people knew each other from previous retreats.
For me, this was a testament to what the experience had to offer.
The first half of the day was spent in our circle with Lee guiding us through the
Toltec philosophy and how we can apply it to our lives. Don Miguel Ruiz’s Toltec
wisdom book, The Four Agreements, was referred to many times. The
agreements are:
1. Be impeccable with your word: Speak with integrity. Say only what
you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip
about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and
love.
2. Don’t take anything personally: Nothing others do is because of
you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their
own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of
others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
3. Don’t make assumptions: Find the courage to ask questions and to
express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as
you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just
this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
4. Always do your best: Your best is going to change from moment to
moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick.
Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-
judgment, self-abuse, and regret.
Lee explained that in the Toltec teachings we are born unconditionally loving
beings, and then we inherit our legacy of judgment. Every human being is
unique with their own experiences, emotional triggers, patterns of responses,
etc. We could all be listening to the same conversation and each of us would
interpret it differently. We only hear what we choose to hear and then we let the
voices in our head take over. But, we are not the voices in our head; we are
simply the one listening. Our minds can turn a simple statement into a mini
series. But, if we stop, feel the emotion, whether it is pain or anger, then ask
ourselves, “Is that the truth, or is it a lie?” If it’s a lie, move on.
In turn, we are completely responsible for how we deliver our message, but we
are not responsible for what others hear. With awareness, we can take
responsibility for our thoughts and actions. The bad agreements we make with
ourselves make us miserable. If we don’t like where our life is going we should
let go of old knowledge and bring in new knowledge. Reprogram and change our
story. Instead of creating a novel too heavy to lift, filled with drama, and tales of
how we have been victimized; we can write a beautiful story that everyone
wants to have a chapter in. Free will gives us the power to recreate our reality.
We can make our lives something that we are happy to show up for.
I then nervously raised my hand and asked the question, “What if your story isn’t
something that is easily changed? What if your father has disowned you and
your whole family is suffering because of it?” Lee said, “That is a perfect
question for what we have in store after lunch.”….”Ugh!!”
After lunch Tian Dayton, who holds a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and an MA in
educational psychology, joined us. She is a therapist in private practice in New
York City. Tian’s warmth was felt immediately. She explained that we would be
doing a pyschodrama.
The purpose of psychodramatic role plays is to resolve through action insight
rather than talk alone. Through role play, thinking, feeling and behavior emerge
simultaneously to allow for a fuller picture of what is being carried in the psyche
to come into view. “Role reversal” allows the protagonist to actually stand in the
shoes of other persons in the role play in order to see the self from the position
of the other and to actually experience being “in the skin” someone else.
I was asked if I would be willing to be the protagonist with my situation. With
heart racing and palms sweating, I agreed. Tian asked me to choose people from
the group to play my family members involved. I chose someone to play my
mom, my dad, both of my sons, and my ex-husband. My cast family and I all
gathered in the center of the circle. I began by speaking to my mom. I faced her
and held her hands. The tears flowed. I said, “I wish that you and dad could
have found a way to communicate with each other about your problems and
your issues. I think it would have saved us all from some of the suffering we are
going through now with your divorce.” Then I switched roles and stood in my
mother’s place. I responded as my mom, “I wish that we could have done that
too honey. I can’t change the past though. I can only do my best now.” I then
stood in front of my father. I swallowed deeply and through my gasps from
crying said, “How could you disown me? What is wrong with you? Don’t you
have a heart? I have children and I can’t imagine my life without them? I know
that this is the worst time in your life and I want to help you through it, but you
won’t let me in. You hold on to your anger like an appendage. Is this working for
you somehow? You disowned your mother and your brother fifteen years ago
and you didn’t look back. How can you be so cold?” I then switched roles and
had to stand in my father’s place. I responded as him, “You just don’t get it. I’m
done with you people.” This went on, back and forth for about 45 minutes. It
was gut wrenching, but with Tian’s guidance and the help of the brave people
playing my family members, I got through it. In the end, I felt sympathy for my
father and I knew that I could have a happy life, with or without him. I resigned
the idea of being able to control anyone, but me. Tian had me assign an angel to
look after my dad. And Lee gave me an amazing gift. He told me that the next
time I see my dad, go up to him and simply say, “I’m going to love you whether
you love me or not.” I resisted the idea at first, but the more I let it sink in, the
more I knew it was exactly what I needed to do. It was time for me to take
responsibility for my own emotions and actions. My father’s response doesn’t
matter.
After more than an hour of playing out my psychodrama, I was beginning to feel
guilty that I was taking up too much of the group’s time with my problems.
When we were done, Tian asked each person in the group to tell me what they
thought and how they could relate it to their own lives.
What happened next has changed my life forever. I was overwhelmed to
discover that each person witnessing this painful exercise was able to apply it to
their own lives and their own story. Some had gone through a similar scenario
and identified with me, while others related to my sons or my mother. It was
amazing. And honestly, I really feel like I’m done with it. I can move on.
Whether acting out the drama or bearing witness to it, this is an incredibly
powerful way of resolving painful relationship issues and connecting people
together. The love in the room was palpable.
More members of the group opened up and freed themselves from the part of
their story that wasn’t serving them anymore. One grieved over the love that she
never received from her mother. Another woman showed us the pain that she
feels being a black woman in a society that sees beauty as blonde haired and
blue eyed. And someone else worked through her horrific childhood filled with
abuse. Our stories were different, yet our pain the same.
Saturday felt like a reunion of twenty best friends. Lee continued his teachings
and we absorbed his words like a bunch of sponges. We walked along the river
through the city with our minds and hearts open. We visited The Chapel of
Sacred Mirrors, an incredible gallery of work by Alex Grey where a series of
paintings allowed us to see ourselves and each other as reflections of the divine.
At night we met in Time Square for the spectacular theatre production of The
Lion King. We had dinner at midnight at a New York style deli. Getting to know
each other and ourselves.
Sunday, our last day, was met with mixed feelings of being elated from the
experience and the connections, but also a real sense of knowing that it was
about to end and it would be up to each of us to continue the practice.
We gathered in the morning, getting ready to walk to Wall Street. Lee asked us
to keep our minds clear and focused on the answer, whatever that meant to
each of us. He asked us to look for something that was symbolic of the answer
as we walked. The group divided into small groups and talked and laughed, like
close friends do. I walked alone for a bit and I took in the beauty. The fall leaves
covered the streets and sidewalks with a blanket of gold, amber and ruby. I
picked up a perfect bright leaf and decided that this was my answer. A leaf holds
tight to the tree until it can no longer hold on, eventually it has no choice but to
let go, the cool breeze picks it up and carries it away from the only place it has
ever known, but the leaf knows it is time to fly and land where it may.
I place the leaf in my pocket.
We arrive on Wall Street and the mood changes. Lee asked us to gather close, to
close our eyes and feel the fear that is encompassed in this space. Then he told
us to turn to see Trinity Church at the end of the street. It was glowing in the
sunlight and wrapped in shadow; a magical sight. The bells were ringing as if to
say, “I’m here. Don’t forget what is important.” We walk to the church and enter.
The energy inside was in startling contrast to the outside. There was such peace
in this sanctuary. We allowed it to sink in. Lee then led us out the back door of
the church into a beautiful old cemetery. We gathered again and closed our
eyes. Lee asked us to think of it as a place of change. He said, “Pick up a leaf
and walk alone in silence, contemplating what the leaf signifies to you. Hold on
to it or let it go. It is up to you.” With my hand in my coat pocket I touch the leaf
that I picked up earlier and thought, “Was that a coincidence?” I told myself to
not over think it. Pulling the leaf from my pocket, I held it gently in my fingers. I
slowly strolled along the cemetery path. After a bit I stopped in front of a
beautiful group of tombstones and I released the leaf, watching it fall…letting go,
letting go, letting go.
To say that I am grateful for this experience would be a vast understatement. I
have made genuine connections with the most warm-hearted, loving people. I
have a new view of myself and what is possible. I am excited for the journey
ahead.
My new question is, “What would LOVE do?” I like it. It fits.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Moments in the Sand


Last night I realized how much the world has changed since I was a little boy. I was moved and proud to be who I am and to see that the people of the Unites States had come to open the realm of possibilities and step beyond what we've lived with as fear of anything we can't control or pretend to be true no matter what, for so long and allow the unknown,potential, hope, courage to lead us into a new opportunity to recreate The United States.

This morning after I took Bella to her Escheula del Mundo in San Pauncho, I came home to a beautiful swell, 3-5foot surf, light breeze, clear skies and that soft feeling in the air from last nights rain storm. As I stood on our terrazzo, looking out across the beach to the surf break I was Me, capitalized because I was the Me that's always been there underneath whatever personality I was in or role I was playing. That "Me" has been surfing since I was 12 years old, today I'm 52 and you know the feeling, the love, the mystique and lure of La Mar, the ocean, is the same as always. She is in my blood and her waves flow through my heart, salt, sand and all. Most afternoons after school I take Bella who is 6 to the beach in front of the house for "Ocean Swimming Class". It is our official time to be Dad and daughter playing in the legacy of so many of my dreams and I see her falling in love with the same sea and sand that I have loved all my life.

I talk about "legacy" a lot these days. We all inherit a legacy, many in fact. There's the legacy of family, then the legacy of religion and country and beliefs and behaviors etc... We pass these legacies on to everyone we meet and love. We pass them on to our children and share them with our friends, spouses, and co-workers.

Yesterday in the U.S.A. a new legacy was created and for a lot of people an old one died. We have been dragging around a lot of legacies that need to die or are already dead but we refuse to see that their dead and we drag them with us demanding that they are still relevant and ok.Prejudice is one of these legacies, just an example.

As I share one of my legacies with my daughters on the beach in Mexico a brilliant, courageous man has created a legacy for the entire awake world to look up to and that's a legacy of perseverance and hope.

So what's your legacy? What did you inherit that is not true any longer that you'd be willing to let go of? What legacy do you share with the world around you and especially with your children? Our bodies are short term rentals in this world but our legacies are the blueprints for the world that will be inherited by those that come next and with our awakening that legacy will be one of courage, light,love,honesty and change.Change is proof of life, when change stops that's when we need to be worried.

Blessed be the ones who are willing to dream the great dreams that lead others to freedom. We always have a choice.

My Bella is calling me, it's time for "Ocean Swim Class"...Support those legacies that bring love into your life and be done with the ones that bring suffering and fear.Let Mr. Obama be an inspiration and be the change. We are here now for a reason..this is our Moment in The Sand...Vaya con Dios, Lee

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Day of the Living, Day of the Dead


It is November first, last night was Halloween. The time when all the scary creatures of the unknown come out to play. The unknown seems to be a terrible place for the minds of modern peoples to go.To appease those scary spirits we give them treats and turn away to the light bright comfort of home.It's really perfect that Halloween is a children's holiday cuse the truth is our children are of the unknown.No matter how we may try to direct them and mold them, support and demand of them they are who they are and will do what they will do.No matter how hard parents may try you can't "make" your children be what you want, we do not know how their life path will unfold. There it is , the unknown, living right there in your house with you.

In Mexico we have the ancient ceremony and celebration of Day of The Dead, dia de Los Muertos. That's a double unknown. First of all there's our world , the one we see, touch, taste etc..then there's the other world where all our deceased relatives have vanished to when they checked out of the "known" world of our everyday life.On Day of The Dead our relatives spirits are invited to come back for a visit and celebrate with the in a body members of the family. All the favorite foods, libations, smokes , pets, clothes , all of that is placed on a family alter to entice the spirits to come home for a visit.Such a cool ceremony to have in a body humans acknowledging that we don't know where we go from here but we do go somewhere that's largely unknown and it's possible that all of us can hang out together again.

I know those that have been close to me and passed on have never left my memory and in some ways are still alive in my stories and heart. They left the physical world but are still very much alive in the etheric world of my memory and emotion.I still talk to my Dad when I'm driving around the Ranch looking at the cattle and horses and often speak to my step Dad when I smoke a good cigar. Those were connections we shared and are still connections that live on with me. They are there, no doubt.

Today, November first is the Day for the children that have died. The families will gather at the Cemetery and lay out spreads of the little ones favorite things and remember them back to spend the time together. That Love doesn't die and so that love reconnects between the worlds to create one bridge through time.

November 2 is the day for the in body and out of body adults to share a day together. We have an alter on our front porch. Lupita, the 16 year old that helps baby sit Lola brought a beautiful picture of her Grand mother, her favorite Grand ma. Mee has her Mom's picture and I have some cigars for A.D. and will put a cold beer and some boiled shrimp out for my Dad.Our alter is lit up with candles and fresh flowers, pictures and pieces of the past that keep us connected through space and time. So for the next two days the living and the dead will be sharing hearts and memories separated only by the sense of touch.It's the love that makes the touch special anyway so love a little more and your really not missing anything at all.

The unknown is one of my closest companions these days. From the unknown I've made up my beliefs and stories of my known.In a lot of ways I am not comfortable when I'm surrounded by a world that's too familiar. The unknown is the realm of potential and possibility. The unknown is where creativity and God dwell, passing through us when we are open enough to allow the unknown a chance to move through us.Life is just too flat unless there's a pinch of fear to keep me on my toes and in the moment.I trust my choices today and not knowing is a life line to allowing that trust to live through me creating as we go. Not knowing makes the Day of the Dead a family reunion of magic and color.Maybe that old saying about the only thing to fear is fear itself fits better if you add the only thing to fear is living only for the known.....Saludos, Lee