A Warriors Call

We were awake at 3am. Plan was to get to the Nashville airport by 7:30 to make a flight to Palm Beach , a little work and a little beach time. I could feel Lola's feet on my back in the night and knew she was hot, another fever, another cold. Laying awake in bed before sunrise I went through the possibilities of what we might do rearranging our June schedule to fit it all in. No worries, all the choices were great so what does the order matter.

Being a Dad is my closest connection to God. I can't imagine loving more than I love these little girls...all my girls, from 26 to 2. Lola, Bella, Ana , Alexis and now two granddaughters, Sydney and Avery.Unconditional love is always with me just under the surface of my relationship to the world I live in outside of me.

Feeling Lola's feet didn't make for an Oh No , We can't go reaction...in fact I just felt how much I love having this little character for a daughter and her Mom for my wife.

My main reason in flying to Palm Beach was to see a man I respect and feel a connection to cuse we have both done our best to create a doorway for those trying to undo their addictions and suffering for the sake of living a life they love. Call it recovery if you want..I'm not sure that word is accurate..doesn't really matter, it is the evolution of our human legacy and Don Mullaney and I have very different looking approaches to our work while both work from that place within us that is so grateful for our life and transformation that we had to share that gratitude the best way we know how. Really very simple and sometimes very challenging when you can't settle for less than what you feel is the best for your people, the ones we serve in our work.

From the outside we don't appear to have much at all in common but I would bet you through the eyes of God we look like two brothers who have their own style and way of getting the job done.One thing I have come to see and know about the truth of life, looks don't have anything to do with substance and real truth brings great respect and honor with it. Among warriors there is always a mutual respect that will come forward at some point, whether in victory or defeat, in argument or agreement, true warriors live for the closeness to life's integrity, a closeness that being the warrior brings.Going with the flow is usually just an annoyance to a warrior. We do it to get in position to act sometimes but I don't think we ever like it.

Being a warrior is sure not a popularity contest either. Popularity is another one of those social conventions that seems to breed soft, lazy actors rather than solid courageous Characters, warriors. I've become such a jackass these days that I almost don't trust anybody who is too popular in any field, recovery,politics, film, music, doesn't matter, authenticity brings uniqueness and social compliance as a culture has a hard time with unique.It also has a hard time with the truth.

When I realized we couldn't make the flight this morning I came down stairs and got online cancelling the flight and re-booking the Singer Island Hilton for the end of June. I'm going to see Don Mullaney, the exact day is not the point.

Many times in my life I have had powerful feelings that I needed to do something and wouldn't "understand " why..today I know that is God directing me and I don't need to understand why. Actually it's more fun not knowing, I get to figure it out as I move forward, with faith, rather than believing a head full of bullshit thinking I know something.

Palm Beach will be there and I'll play on that sugar white sand beach with my girls and visit my warrior compadre...sometimes we need to check in with each other because we are here to learn and share who we are with each other as individuals not as business people or friends or any other roles we have given so much value to. We need to check in Man to man, human to human..life to life.

Today I'm going to The Ranch and work with some wild two year old colts of ours...Now that's a mirror of Spirit for you, a two year old colt all fat and wide eyed.

To all the warriors out there I salute you and look forward to meeting you along the way...we do recognize each other and there aren't that many of us in circulation these days. To death I say "I see you and when the time comes we'll dance and sing an old Sweatlodge song to the Great Mystery" Weyah hey hey Weyah Hey......

Conscious Contact

Who am I listening to in my life? So many voices so little attention.The world around us looks more like a world in need of treatment than a world we might aspire to be loyal subscribers to. On one hand our culture and our world is not responsible for us as individuals, we are, and at the same time we are the children of this world and all its conflicts, insecurities, insanity and lies.Attempting to sort the truth out of the agenda is , well, more trouble than it's worth. I may be powerless over the world outside of myself but I am not powerless over myself ,what I believe about me, agree to concerning me, or choose to act on in relation to me.Bringing my attention back to myself keeps me from getting all caught up in all the stuff that in truth does not matter anyway.

My world exists within me. My world is a perception, a matrix of beliefs and stories. In my world there are continuously changing weather patterns of emotion, hunger, thought, sensation and experience.

In the world outside of me there are also constantly changing aspects of life, weather, belief, reaction. We are caught up in a whirlwind of economic, energetic, environmental, political and religious turmoil. What we were taught as kids as the "right" way to live has turned out to have been a very short sighted, unsustainable, addicted, demanding, borderline behaving quagmire of cultural mess. Everybody seems to be lying to everybody about almost everything and all we know for sure is that we can't count on the politicos or the systems as they exist today to save us from ourselves. See what I mean by our World being in need of treatment....

In the midst of all this, change keeps happening and with that change, opportunity comes forward...So, where is our attention? Are we seeing the opportunities or are we fighting to keep up our attachment to what has been familiar to us.

Like an individual in need of treatment, when what you have lived as "reality" stops working, there can be a real sense of the whole house of cards coming down. We are the culture of the world and the culture of the world is us. The rethinking of how we live one day to the next as a society, is , if it's going to evolve toward Happy, Joyous, and Free, going to be a leap of faith into the unknown. My point of view about Recovery has shifted from the goal being to become a "happy, productive member of society" to being re-connected to the truth of who I am underneath all the beliefs , baggage, stories and imbalances that had become my perception of myself. That perception of myself was born of my relationship with this Society and how I saw me, judged me, defined me according to societies rules. I really tried to fit in..sort of...that's funny now..but it sure as hell wasn't funny when I believed Society knew something I didn't.

Where do we go now, people of recovery, society of the USA...where do we go now Humans? Our world has hit the fan and most of our all powerful systems have shown themselves to be incapable of changing toward the opportunity of a new Paradigm.Our systems are reflections of ourselves. We are so attached and addicted to suffering as a measure of accomplishment we seem to be indulging into suffering rather than stepping back with a broad, open minded point of view and being honest about how Huge our collective and individual challenges and opportunities are.

In the USA if you work, work, work then you might believe you are ok and accomplished and headed for some promised land...good luck with that one.Life is changing the stakes to not being about how hard we work and suffer for our causes but how smart we live and how much love and joy we express, minute to minute, day by day.

Some where in the mix of our beliefs we bought into being small and imperfect as the foundation of our experience.We have no idea if we are perfect or not, we have no idea the intentions of the one that created us so who are we to even have an opinion of what we are. We've even been told we were born in Sin and must earn Gods love. So many of our beliefs have been passed on from generation to generation and regardless of how much suffering and fear those beliefs create we stay loyal to them or at best go into a like minded reaction to them. All aspects of the same way of thinking.

There is nothing sacred here but life itself...our beliefs are not sacred,our educations are not sacred...our sobriety is not sacred...the religions are not sacred..the cows may be, at least they were, like us, created by Life, not the minds of men.

What we are being shown today is the truth that our interpretations of ourselves are simply opinions and always removed from the truth, as truth exists within us as Spirit.We are that Spirit not what we have projected into the world as identity and called it "me". We recover from our identity as "Me" or we live as "me" better or less than, in recovery, small and imperfect, same ol' same ol' , Again, same way of thinking that created the problem in the first place.

All of this point of view applies to our societies and our cultures...all of this applies to our Human world as we create it and then live in it.If we want to change the world we must come to terms with the foundation of our personal beliefs. The world is a projector screen for our beliefs, we act according to our beliefs, we experience based on beliefs and we perceive through the filters of our beliefs...no way of getting around dealing with our beliefs if anything is going to change beyond cosmetics and affiliations.

In my life there is, today, a conscious contact with a presence within me. A presence that is always there and always holding me in unconditional Love and awareness. I feel from that presence that everything is and has always been ok...There is a conscious contact that exists within all of us that when we have brought our attention back to ourselves will reveal to us the thread of life that connects us all.Until we have brought our attention back to ourselves we will continue to live from the insanity of our own projections. We will continue to live from the world around us rather than from the world within us. Bringing our attention back to ourselves will require a great leap of faith. We will have to believe we are worth it and let go of the grand excuses that we are small and imperfect, that there is a measure called Normal, that has some relevance to anything. We will have to let go of our Gods and projections, our agendas and affiliations..our diagnosis and cool cards. We will have to be willing to be happy, joyous and Free...all for the sake of a conscious contact.

Spinning Wheel.

Wednesday evening 7:15 p.m....The orbit of star-ship Lee took an elliptical variance today. Shifts come and we go..onward, choosing, feeling, wondering. I'm wondering , again, what really matters here as I dream my life on Earth? It is so easy to believe so many of the things I've been taught matter, matter, but sometimes, like right now, I KNOW most all those cultural teachings are not the point to this life.There is this place between stepping into a life of absolute faith in what I feel, and I feel deep and still,and that fear that I better be reasonable cuse I have a family and all this stuff that I once thought I owned but now know full well the stuff owns me.

Wouldn't life be amazing if ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE was what we chose to live..it would sure be a HUGE leap of faith from what we are told to live for. See, the feeling of letting go of all this structure of success and responsible American stuff seems to be following me like my shadow. What was real is not anymore and what might be is a giant step from where I sit now and I'm a guy who has lived on the edge all my life so I should be much closer to jumping into the paradigm shift than a lot of others and here I am still sitting talking, or writing, about it.

The ground IS MOVING UNDER OUR FEET. That sensation is real, it's not just you. Paradigm shift is the reality that nothing outside of our center will be familiar as we move into a greater vibration. Life is a band width of frequencies and we are familiar with only a couple variations of those infinite frequencies. Today was a validation for me that the shift is not about the world around us but what we are capable of perceiving that has always been around us, we just were too stuck on what we think we know to see past all our Knowing.If you don't live from your center then good luck cuse chasing the shadows is going to be a black comedy of errors.

Anyhow...what was I saying??? Do you feel what I'm talking about?? Ummm Hummm...We are in for a Ride folks...Safety is no longer going to be a hole card..faith is the ticket now..so get you some..and let go of that life raft...lets rock this Dream....