The Light of Change

5:40 am In the Heart of summer. Looking at pictures of my friend Arthur Robert Cushman walking the grounds of our Dreaming House in Teotihuacan and shots of my Mee cooking here at home at Pinewood Farms. Thinking about where my energy is going and what is real these days and what is nothing more than shadows of an old paradigm that is no longer worth the attention to keep it propped up, like so much of our existing ways in the USA.Our Human matrix is no longer sustainable, period, we are being offered choices to CHANGE what we believe and how we live in every moment but just like all the addicted and lost I have worked with for years now I see that for 90% of the people in the USA getting off the merry go round is not going to happen till it collapses and that's tragic.The consequences of refusing to look at our reality will become more and more dire, more shootings , more killing, much more disease and sickness, more poverty and loss of so called security, hunger, all Lifes ways of trying to get the attention of those who are not willing to see what's right in front of them. Meanwhile living on a farm is as alive as ever now that we have quit with consumption agriculture and we are working WITH nature again instead of what the Universities are teaching. Simple will one day be respected again but that is a ways off and a lot of suffering from now and that is the choice of Humanity. Meanwhile we can all buy local for almost everything, sure you pay more in dollars but you will be recreating a broken economic system that will in the long run sustain you again. We can eat clean, simple NON processed food and demand that things like FRACKING for natural gas be stopped before there is no more clean water in America. We can believe and live for BEING RECOVERED from addictions and diseases and let the identities of less than go with the paradigms of fear that we have all come to identify with. We can Pray to the great Mystery and Dream of possibilities then TAKE Action for those possibilities to become reality.We can stop hating, killing and judging each other over our twisted, insane ideas of God. We can walk more and drive less, sing more and bitch less, share more with strangers and hoard our wealth less. Enjoy being alive and well, it is a privilege, an act of grace ,not a right any longer as we will see very shortly. Sometimes it takes courage to be honest about the house being on fire while most either won't acknowledge the smoke and flames and others say fire is negative so don't look at it and the only survivors are the ones who say FIRE OUT LOUD and leave the building. I have children and grandchildren and I care about the world they will live in and I am afraid for what they are going to inherit from us at this point and I will do my best to give them a place to live and an awareness of life as a living creation not what they are taught in school.

We will see huge changes in this Human world over the next 10 years, huge changes and the way we are going those changes will be very hard on many many people and we can not say we didn't do it to ourselves cuse we are and we did and it is all unnecessary except that we have demanded this for ourselves and WE are all 100% responsible. It's going to be another hot one in Tennessee and I have horses to feed so see you around, May the light of Change be with you!

Summer Heat

Tennessee is in a very hot , dry summer, most call it a drought. We got home to the Pinewood Farm Sunday night before the 4th of July. Today a late afternoon thunder storm brought a couple inches and rain and dropped the 100 degree day to 78 in less than an hour. I heard the thunder this morning and went out to talk to Tlaloc and the Thunder Beings, the spirits that travel with the rains. Most people don’t know that this creation we live in is alive, we are surrounded by consciousness in the light. There are beings that live all through the infinite number of dimensions that are the tapestry of Creation. I have several relationships from Teotihuacan that I have there with me all the time now no matter where I am. It’s interesting to be in the reality of Tennessee and shift to a connection that is Teotihuacan like flipping a switch. That’s what has happened in my life and I am very grateful for coming to know something I believed but didn’t really understand and know it as a relationship. They come to us, frequency to frequency, they find us through the web of creation and come to us through us. I know what I am trying to say but saying it is not quite correct, words are limited.

Humanity , our culture lost reality when we lost a living relationship to the Natural Real world. We don’t talk to the wind or this Mother Earth or the Rivers or fire. We don’t know how to listen to the Trees or the Mountain Spirits. That is a huge issue as we have lost perspective of the wholeness of Creation. Result of that disconnection we eat dead food, search for peace in the world, project our fears and judgments every where all the time. Our lack of awareness creates more issues by distorting the integrity of the fabric of Life itself. For that we will be accountable as we are not greater than the whole of creation. I will be staying connected to my spirit people and seeing how deep this living with the Light beings can go.

Rain started Falling......

Rain started falling just before we boarded. The clouds had been moving around all morning as we spent most the day walking the streets of Mexico City. It was a nice feeling day, not too hot, not cold, just right. This was the last day of a week in the Heart of a culture and people that I fell completely in love with 10 years ago on my first visit to the real Mexico. I had been two years in recovery, trying to find a thread to living life different from the way I had lived for the last 20 years, and after reading a book by a Mexican Toltec Shaman something clicked in his words that felt like I had known what living by those words might feel like. It was an odd feeling, like you know something you don’t know, or you have it in you but can’t remember from where. The point was it hooked me and as Life works soon after I found where that same writer had teachers leading journeys to the Pyramids of Teotihuacan and that hooked me too so I got it together and booked that trip. My Heart exploded on that trip, it exploded into a million stars and fell back to Earth again where I knew if I followed the feelings my heart would come back together again whole and full of that starlight. Since that first journey I have really lived in continuous relationship with the great mystery and magic of those Pyramids and the Spirit people that live all through it’s many dimensions. Over these years my way of living and seeing life has shifted and transformed in ways I never knew existed. My life was saved by Grace, I once was lost but have been found, was blind but now I see. I never had any idea what the word Grace represented. As words represent the something they are referring to that is actually beyond the words translation. Our words are just for communicating; it’s up to us to live the experience they represent. Like the word Mexico could bring up visions and ideas, scenes from Movies and beliefs I had about what Mexico was or what Mexico must be like and none of that had anything at all to do with the real Mexico.It is a real shame we are so willing to accept our imaginary versions of life rather than having the courage to go find out for real. That is a very tragic sign of our times. These days we are so tempted to believe we know something about places and people, foreign lands and distant cultures, just because we see scenes on TV or we read books. Of course it’s great to read and watch TV but that is not real, its imaginary, virtual, a matrix. Now here I am 11 years after my first real experience in Mexico and I am as in Love and smitten with her magic and sweetness, struggle, sorrows and heart as I ever was. Like loving an amazing woman loving a Country like Mexico is very very much the same. Her heart is the heart of the Mother, Mother Mary, Tonantzin Aztec Virgin, her heart is expressed through the simple warmth of fresh tortillas and a the eyes of the children, the lines in the faces of the old ones and in the intention of Her Pyramids with their silent knowledge. My relationship with Mexico is a mirror for my relationship with all of life. As I have learned to live with her I have learned to live with myself. This life is a mystery. I am a mystery. Creation is a mystery. Maybe if we would treat life as a mystery we would find our humility and respect again. God knows we need to. The rain is falling harder now and this 737 is ready to take off into the clouds as hard as it can go. In three hours I’ll land in Los Angeles and the other love of my life, my wife Mee will pick me up and we’ll go have supper together. I love her name, so simple and true cuse it is all about Mee or me. I might leave Mexico but Mexico never leaves me just as I might leave my Mee but she never leaves me. I’ll bet before this 737 levels out we break through the clouds and find that Sun waiting on the other side. Yes it is all a mystery, in my heart this is all a mystery and these days I love this great mystery, I love the rains and the traffic, the openings and the endings. I don’t much love the meanness of humanity or the arrogance we have come to be so proud of but that too will bring it’s own response from this great mystery of life and at some point maybe we the people will wake up and stop living like fools. Who knows, deal is though, if I live long enough I do believe I’ll find out cuse the road we are on does not go on forever. Blessings to all of you out there under the evening Sun, may the Spirit that dwells in you call you out to see the mystery, it is a far greater calling than the ones we Humans have made up with all our words and knowledge. See you round…..

Sitting in Aguas Calientes

Sitting in Machu Picchu, or to be exact in the Pueblo of Aguas Calientes. It is raining, really raining, water holds a great presence here. Across the Calle or street the Urubamba River, my river of light, is roaring through this little Pueblo on it’s way to the Amazon. This is my 5th or 6th time to visit the great Cosmic reality of Machu Picchu and each time my connection to the Light and the Life of this Sacred place has grown in dimensions, beyond simple depth, dimensions open us to greater awareness and openings to aspects of our being. This was a fast trip, two nights, of course this is a place before time, a place where time you must bring with you as the Consciousness of Machu Pichu is of the Light. I always love to see the faces of the people that come with us on our Journeys to Mach Picchu. You see we have a practice of leading the group to the top of the ridge above the main City and with their eyes closed we have them hold hands and walk connected to a vantage point where when they open their eyes the beauty and mystery all come together in one light filled moment. There are always tears of gratitude and feelings of Heart and Spirit opening to a greater reality as the mist and clouds shift and move between the Mountains from Machu Picchu to Putu Cusi and across the river gorge to Huayna Pichu the Cat, looking down on the Dove Rock out cropping of the North border of the City. Some call this Machu Picchu an ancient Ruin, they don’t get it, this is a place of Consciousness and Light, a place that connects worlds and dimensions all of which seem to have aspects that open within us as Human Beings, all connected, remembered, awakened by the Mystery of Life that lingers in the mist. Sitting here in a street side café waiting for a pizza, smelling the wood smoke of the Pizza Ovens and the rain falling in big drops I watch the members of our journey step down from the bus with big smiles and laughter. I never had any aspirations of being a tour guide, still don’t, but somehow it just happened that I wanted to share these places where I have found so much inspiration for Life and so I keep coming back with small groups of pilgrims. I love it, most of the time, like right now, Urubamba River roaring through the Pueblo, wood smoke, Rain, Clouds and mist, smiles and hugs this is the beauty of our world and the legacy I want to share with my daughters. The beauty and magic of life is all around us, we just have to look from the inside out. Whether in the hills of Tennessee or the coast of Malibu, the Temples of Teotihuacan or the Majesty of the Andes we really are surrounded by beauty and light, created of beauty and light. This afternoon we’ll catch the train back to Cusco and in a few days I’ll be on a flight back home to Malibu and the woman I share my dreams with. Seems everywhere I turn I am filled with gratitude. Gracias Mama Pacha, Gracias Apus Machu Pichu and Huayna Picchu, Putu Cusi and Ausungati, Gracias Mee for Loving me just the way I am and Gracias to all those who Journey with me for bringing your light to this world of Ours, May Peace be With You

COMING HOME TO MEE

I never sleep well on the nights that I have early flights to somewhere. I’ll lie in bed sleeping and waking up, thinking and dreaming. I always want to reach over and hold onto my wife, my best friend, the one I am closer to than I can understand. I’ve had lots of girlfriends and was married once before but at that time in my life I was so busy trying to be me, trying to be good enough or cool enough or some other idea of mine that was more important at the time than being close to someone else, there was no real sense of leaving when I travelled. Maybe the truth is it’s not a sense of leaving I feel now but a deep feeling of belonging, a feeling that’s with me whether we are together or apart. You see my wife, my Mee, that’s her name Mee and it sure fits her and us, she is more independent even than I am, at least in our connection she is. That’s a twist of fate in my life, for me to be the one that likes to hang onto a hug a little longer, the one that feels a twinge of sad whenever I know I am about to fly off into the world again. It’s a sweet, sad feeling to miss her before I leave, to miss the feeling of being home with her and our little girls while I’m getting up and trying to be quiet as I get ready to ease out the door on another journey. Being connected to each other has changed a lot about how I value my life and my relationship to this world we live in. I feel safe close to her, I feel like together we are a whole Universe and all is well as long as we have us. I’ve never felt like that before, never had that deep a light shining, calling me home again. I still come and go, like I have my whole life, of course I came by my travelling ways naturally being born into a family that lived on the Northeast coast of Florida and had a Ranch in Southern Wyoming where I spent all my summers. Seems like I’ve always been going somewhere else and I’ve always loved the going and the coming back home again. These days though I’m too aware that what we have in this world is all a passing thing, it comes and goes no matter how much we Love or Hate where we are, it’s all like a wisp of wood smoke, strong enough to burn your eyes and make you cough but just as quick it’s gone forever like it was never there in the first place. You can hold onto the memory but memories aren’t real, our breath and touch is real and it’s the knowing that the breath and touch are all passing with time too that leaves me wanting to hold on. I guess I am afraid I might leave one day and never make it back to feel that feeling again, to hug that extra second or stop to take that last breath in and watch our little ones getting ready for school not aware that I’m standing there in the door. Life on Earth sure has it’s messes and problems I see all that today as a result of how we have made so many things more important than how it really feels to be close to each other and share life from the Heart. Realizing what really matters on the inside is a great gift, maybe it’s a gift of the years that you have to live long enough and worship enough phony ideas that you come full circle to your own true Heart again. What I know is my life has a home today and my Heart has a connection to Loving and sharing that I wouldn’t trade all the deals of bright lights and big money for, not ever. I’m really grateful that I’ve lived long enough to make it to this point and God willing I’ll live this way of being for a long time coming. Another Journey another Dream, another place in time, another ceremony, there will always be a Light in my Heart that brings me home and coming home is always the greatest gift of the Journey.

A DREAMING HEAVEN BEGINNING

I met Dana Walden one Sunday afternoon at our house up on Little Sycamore Canyon Road above Malibu. Our mutual friend, Gini Gentry, had called me a while ago and said she thought that Dana and I should meet to talk about music and film. Gini is a good witch and is known for setting up interesting opportunities, so I thought, “Why not?” I was living in L.A. and figured it would be cool to get connected to a creative scene. Dana and I sat in our living room looking out past the Santa Monica Mountains to the Pacific Ocean horizon. I offered him a listen to a song I had just written and when I pulled my guitar out of its case he said, “Wow, you have a D 18 S? You don’t see many of those. I have one at home too.” Bingo—one of those Universe connections. So we talked for a while and the conversation eventually got around to the Journeys I had been leading to Teotihuacan, Mexico. I told him about the magic and mystery of the Ancient City with it’s portals and pyramids, the doorways between dimensions and the powerful energetics that give this “City of the Gods” it’s unique presence. We talked about life, teachers, gurus, personal experiences, the music business, Los Angeles and then we got onto the idea of films and documentaries about real life journeys. As I shared the process of the Teotihuacan Journeys, Dana said, “It sounds like a cool set up for a documentary, to capture the experience and what the people go through on the journey.” As soon as Dana said that I got a hit—one of those instinctual, intuitive hits. YES! Wouldn’t it be amazing if we could capture the energy of Teotihuacan on film? It would be so great if the energetics could be translated through the light of the film into the light of the theater screen. Before Dana left that day we decided to put a journey together to see what might happen. I had no experience in film or film making but Dana had enough to get this deal put together so I called Gini and told her about it. She said, “Yes, that is the call—the call of the Mystery. It’s the way it works when you’re listening to Spirit and are willing to go for it.” A few months later Gini Gentry, Frank Hayhurst, myself, a crew of journeyers, a couple of cameramen and sound people, a designated producer or two, all loaded up and flew off to Teotihuacan to create “DREAMING HEAVEN” the movie. The Journey took on a life of it’s own as did the film making process. We put five years into the film and this spring of 2012 we will launch the platform—Film, Music and a Book all built from a conversation on a mountaintop one Sunday afternoon in Malibu. Life rolls on and Gini, Frank, Dana and I have all had a lot of life pass through us since we embarked on the Journey of “Dreaming Heaven” the movie. We are all a bit older and a bit wiser from this experience. Our greatest intent now is that this project will take on a life of it’s own out there in the Human Dream and we will have the opportunity to share our Dream of Heaven on Earth with you all.