Carousel

My experience in life shifts and stretches, appears and vanishes, it's all so etheric and compelling. I love showing up, I ask for more life, more living and always more comes until I say "this has to slow down or get more focused". The little things continue to be the most meaningful and the big things seem not so real or interesting.
I live in the flow of the world and I hear from far beyond where this world would seem to end.
As I've come to realize the power in taking myself apart and looking at Me and asking all the questions that I ask about me and what I think I know and where I think I am, I continue to find that I'm not what I want to believe about me. I don't have a definition of what it is I would say I believe I am. Somehow my interest disconnected from being interested in how I think about myself.
The world spins like a Carousel. It's a lot of work trying to spin with the world. It's a lot of work trying to spin with me, my wife says it a lot, my little girl told me last week she's tired of travelling all over, "Can't we just stay in one place for a whole time Daddy?"
If you stop and looked back through your life can you see how you inherited a particular wave and motion that you've carried on. It's a frequency of legacy and it is definitely heritable. I can see mine and I smile and wish I could give my Dad and A.D., my step Dad, a hug. They gave me this intense appetite for living and doing and being as good at whatever I'm doing as I can be.My Mom taught me to see the beauty in the world. She also taught me to not take no for an answer..that ones been tricky..and I wouldn't trade it for the world.
My Mee, that's my wife, last week she went through the medical maze of American medicine. I'm grateful for it but sometimes it's too much too fast without a lot of stepping back and seeing the whole picture first...but that's what makes the insurance, medical testing, hospital staffed biz go round. A lot of people doing great work but it is a bit manic between waiting for hours to see the doctor.
I thank this amazing creation we call life for putting me and Mee in the same orbit together. In some ,sometimes, bizarre way we are a great match but you'd never see that based on your standard personality or census questionnaire. We are not a rational fit, we are a magical fit, way better for the both of us.
Having her need all the medical assistance woke me up to the memory of mortality. We are both here until we're not and I would miss her more than I can imagine if she was not around to love me and sometimes drive me crazy....that's life isn't it.
So maybe stop a minute and consider that there's no one in your life that is guaranteed to be here in the morning. You might send them all your love and gratitude , it only takes an eternal moment and it's as real as the floor your sitting on.In fact the love we share goes on forever and the floor , it only lasts til the real estate values make it obsolete.
Thank you for this day Father and thank you for this Heart of mine Mother...and thank you for never leaving us alone here....Saludos, Lee