A QUESTION OF SPIRITUALITY-Mystery and Recovery

My name is Lee and I'm a ...human being. My being human comes with a lot of information, coding, traits, definitions, stories and most of all Mystery. Working and creating within the paradigm of what is called the "recovery" world is a great format for witnessing how being human interacts with all the constructs that surround us as life and culture in this world.

"Recovery" as we refer to it was born of the experiences of Bill W. and the subsequent evolution of the 12 steps as, first, a fellowship, and then a format for conducting the business of recovery known as "treatment". In my personal experience I found a great deal of mystery in the BIG BOOK of A.A., mystery that seemed to be lost to the literal translations of those that I connected with during my time of attending meetings and seeking support as I "recovered" my life. When I read "and we do recover" I believed it and so I have.
You see what I have learned over the years is that our human mind seeks the validation to support what that mind has come to believe the truth to be. The mind believes itself. When we live our lives following the peculiarities of our mind we will seek to associate with people that support or agree with what we have accepted as "truth". Truth in this instance is merely what we have chosen to believe. Believing our self or anyone else does not truth make.Belief is belief, truth exists whether we believe in it or not.

Truth is the presence of Mystery that fills in all the spaces between what we think we know and all the rest of creation.Our mind demands to "know". Our mind has no real concept of that Mystery that surrounds all of us, all the time. We attempt to live as though we have life all figured out and all the answers are contained in our vast wealth of information and knowledge.I was not taught as a child to live a relationship with the Mystery as well as the world. My awareness has grown from my restless natural tendency to not accept what should be good enough as an answer. I became my own guinea pig in search of a true, authentic Spiritual connection.The rest is my experience and has led me to the freedom I was seeking all those years of living unhappy, scared and crazy.

In our culture we are taught that we are only as "good" or valuable as is our contribution to society. We must fit in and be a part of the system to have real value. From how much money we make to how "good" we look, to the number of initials we attach to the end of our name, Americans are taught that self worth is a measurable commodity and by following the rules set for us we can and should achieve happiness. If we don't choose to follow the rules, well, then your on your own.If you follow the rules and don't make it to happy and satisfied then either you are ungrateful or you just need to keep chasing the shadow of success. These same rules have been attached to spirituality as organized religion. Play by the rules of your chosen religion or? Even in "recovery" we are taught that we should follow the "program" or go it alone with some associated label like non-compliant or seeking an easier softer way. There is not much room for our unique Spiritual nature in these structures. Comply or be an outcast.

Addressing that Mystery as the greatest aspect of our true nature is not usually acknowledged in the process of healing and Recovery. Spirituality has become reduced down to a definition or lesser aspect of a process that gives greater importance to how we measure up in the eyes of our therapists, if your a client or our colleagues, if a professional, whichever fits.We have given such power to the medical aspects of Recovery, medications and diagnosis, that symptom management has taken the place of getting to the source of the dis-ease, our disconnect from the Mystery within.Certainly Medicine is an important aspect of Recovery and it is just an aspect. As long as we live with fear of the unknown, Mystery,we will never "know" the truth that can only be found within.Connecting to the Truth within opens us up to all that life holds as possibility and frees us from our addiction to need and judgment as a measure of happiness and success.

There is nothing new about my point of view. You can read it in Eckharts Tolle's work or A COURSE IN MIRACLES or the teachings of don Miguel Ruiz or the Kaballah or any one of the many mystery schools that have been sources of expansive consciousness for thousands of years.

Those mystery schools were the living of what we call spirituality and have survived by requiring their participants to live their own unique creative relationship with the cause and effect of the respective schools practices and teachings. The mystery school is not a literal, tells you what to think or do process.
A mystery school is alive, spontaneous, creative and demanding that to participate you must let go of what you think you know or your experience will be limited by your attachment to that knowing.

As one who lives a relationship with the mystery and also with the world of recovery I believe it is time we examined all these things that we say we believe or know and hold sacred as though to question them would somehow be disrespectful.What are we afraid of , really? We certainly have not achieved a level of success with what we offer our clients that would allow us the privilege of being beyond question. We're just not that good.

There can be no happy, joyous and free without the integration of Spirit and mystery, with knowledge, science, belief and faith.

This is an amazing time in the history of this world. There are no aspects of what we humans have accepted as truth or fact that are not going to be challenged. This is the time to let go and let that God within merge with our having lived for what the world would offer us as good enough. Maybe, as many of the ancient prophecies have proclaimed, Heaven is returning to Earth...maybe Hell...For me the less I hang onto the easier it is to rise to the surface.

How about you, what are you hanging onto that may be in need of questioning? How much of an awareness do you live with the Mystery? Have you recovered? Will we allow Heaven or demand hell? It's all a matter of courage and choice, just like we tell our clients...

Whirlwind

It is Friday morning, Febuary 13th, the day before Valentines day.I'm sitting in the basement of our newly leased home in Nashville. This is my space, the "man cave" as Mee, my esposa, tagged it. These last few weeks of moving , shifting, driving back and forth to the Ranch, have been a whirl wind of feeling, inspiration, sadness and creativity. I left Tennessee 7 years ago when Mee and I hooked up. I left for the west coast, Malibu and the waves of my childhood dreams. All through those seven years I felt a thread of connection that kept pulling my attention and heart to look back toward Tennessee but not enough of a pull to come back to stay.
My m.o. has been to create and move on, while looking for another or other home base. Tennessee will always be a home base but like leaving your parents house as a kid it's not where I want to settle down.Working in Malibu with three different recovery programs was a good experience and a frustrating one..frustrating cuse what I would see as vision seemed to be lost to the people I worked for or with. When it comes to creating doorways back to integrity I won't compromise for the sake of fear or maximizing profits. Staying with my vision has been a big part of The Ranch, here in Tennessee, evolving into a most spectacular offering to those willing to recreate their lives away from suffering toward what they are inspired to live as happy, joyous and free individuals.
Over time people have come to refer to what I do as "Spiritual" work or spiritual recovery. With my friend Gary Seidlers encouragement I started SPIRIT RECOVERY as a brand name to use for what would be created in addition to the treatment center work. Spirit recovery is an accurate label...that is what we are offered should we decide to really undo our attachments to how we were taught, as children, to see and live in this world.Our Spirit is our truth, our essence. Our spirit is born into this world and is not of this world. When our physical body dies our spirit is free to return to source should we die with the awareness that we are not "of this world".
Working in the treatment business leaves very little room for a practice of Spirit as the truth of who or what we are and who or what we might recover. When recovery is all about measuring up, then fitting in and following rules is more important than authenticity and connection to that Great Mystery that is the truth of life.We throw around the term Spirituality as a component of recovery as though it is a separate external part of us, something we aspire to that's out on the horizon with our higher power or God..somewhere "out there".
There is no out there. There is no separation between recovery, spirituality, clean days, peace, freedom or suffering. Those are all just words that all have a different exact meaning depending on who you might be talking to at the time. Even the word spirituality will morph and shift as we move through life, if we are paying attention to anything beyond what we believe.
My relationship with myself is my relationship with God or Spirit. I can't possibly treat God or spirit any better than I treat myself. I am an aspect of the one that created me so my closest relationship with God or spirit is me. If I would honor God then I must honor myself , if I would love God then I must love myself. When I've had this conversation with others, many times I'm told that I have a selfish point of view...I don't think so. Me being less than is a self important, excuse for not having the willingness to accept the truth within me as my guiding light. There is no program or Church or book of prophecy that can even begin to touch the living presence that animates this form of mine.Unless creation is an inconsistent factory of life then there is perfection within each creation and how that perfection is expressed is Creators business, not mine. My role is to love it all and have faith in that mystery that I'll never "understand" ,and, will always live in closest relationship with.That mystery is the truth, how we define and measure that mystery is our folly and choice. So what, big deal...
With all that said, my return to Tennessee is my honoring that calling from within that I just can't ignore today. I tried, even when I'd be surfing in my beloved Mexico I'd hear that voice within say.."it's time to go back to The Ranch for a while", "oh come on". I'd plead, "this is where I belong, we love it here, this is our mothers land and I'm being good"...no reply, just that feeling that, damn it, I gotta go back.You see I love that voice and the feeling that comes with it even when I don't like what it's saying. I honor that voice because I honor myself and that voice comes from the deepest aspect of myself.My personality won't be happy, not at first anyway, and my physical body still feels sad about leaving Mexico but I am not bound by the yearnings of my physical body.I take care of my physical body but my body does not own me.
I learn from life as I live my life and I pay attention as well as I can to all the aspects of my being human. I am Human and through that relationship I gain experience and wisdom and that's between me and life not me and the World. There are very few institutions in this world that I choose to give power to. As I have learned that peace can only be found within I have let go of needing the world to validate my insecurities. I have methodically taken my power back from all those places, people and things that I had given power to prior to my waking up.There is no judgement involved only an exercising of responsibility. I am completely responsible for what I empower in my life.
As my whirlwind of movement settles back down this heartland of America will be our home again....until the next mission or adventure or "spiritual" calling. Meanwhile , back at The Ranch.....it's time to go to work.