And The World goes Around.....

I'm sitting at my kitchen table in my Casa Azul, The Dreaming House, Teotihuacan , Mexico. On the stero is a mix cd I made last January before we moved out of our Seaboard Road home in Malibu and made the journey to our little beach house on the warm, wet, west coast of Mexico. The music from one frame of life bridging the scenes of two more recent frames...there's Krishna Das...ommmmm ahhh...he's not a human, he's Gods soundtrack appearing as man and his chants are vibrating through this little blue house in one of the worlds most amazing sacred places where somehow I found a door way to the heaven that lives in me.

My flight from Nashville to Mexico City left at 5:30 this morning so I've been up since 2:30 and the spacey perspective I'm in right now is perfect.In the distance there are giant fireworks going off all around the Pueblo, this is fiesta week for the Pueblo of San Sebastian Xolapa, Teotihuacan.When it's the Fiesta for your Patron Saint the whole Pueblo get's in the street , goes to mass , shoots off fireworks, drinks great quantities of tequila and gorges on killer fresh tamales. My timing is perfect.

Walking outside at 3:30 this morning was the beggining of a reality bending day in the life of reality spinning me.Everything was covered in frost. There was no moon or stars just a flat midnight blue sky hanging heavy with cold artic air. Artic air that had drifted all the way from, the arctic, to freeze the world of middle Tennessee in place.

Climbing in my pickup was a cold on the ass wake-up call. Quick, turn on that seat heater, I remember thinking it was a stupid accessory in a pick-up when I bought the truck but right then it was great.

At Nashville International Airport I went through the security line as usual til the Security lady said she needed to search my carry-on bag. No problemo, two pillows,some books,my day timer,and a Huichol shoulder bag that I use on Journeys to carry my tools.The security lady thought the Huichol bag was suspect so she reached in an pulled out a bag of tobacco I carry for ceremony, she smelled it and looked at me like..strange. Next she reached in and pulled out a Cheynne Peyote Rattle with my favorite old horses tail hair hanging from the handle. This time she shook her head in disbelief, again looking at me but not saying anything. Next, a beaded turkey bone whistle that comes in handy calling to the spirits and allies of the other dimensions. I was all ready to tell her just that when she just grunted and placed it on the table.One more reach into the bag and she found a brass tibetan bell that I picked up at a great shop on Bermuda and learned to use to tune up the space your in from my friend Frank "Rico" Hayhurst in Peru.Next was a small bag of sage from Malibu and a little Christmas ornament that Lola put in my bag the night before.
"So just what do you do with this stuff?", the officer asked with a disturbed glare. "Their just tools", I replied as I put everything back in the baq and sat down to put my shoes back on. "Hummm" she grunted and went back to task keeping America safe from people stranger than me.

Creedence Clearwater Revival is now running through "Suzie Q" like it was 1972, fireworks in the background and here I sit blogging on life as Lee.It's all so bizzare and interesting. This must be the work of the Gods to jump dimensions, soundtracks, realities and lingos with just a little love and attention.

Tomorrow a group of courageous characters will join me here at The Dreaming House for a journey through the Dreaming mind of Quetzelquatal, the avatar of Teotihuacan. While I'm leading their journey there will be empty waves breaking in front of our Sayulita beach house and below freezing temps at The Ranch in Tennessee.We'll all be one day closer to December 13, 2012 and maybe one more human somewhere out there will wake up to the power that they hold to live and love life without conditions.Oh yeah and our furniture will be on it's way from Malibu to the Ranch. Easy does it...keep your tools handy and be polite to the Homeland security officers,they are doing their best.
Sing it Elton, "And now I know Spanish Harlem are not just pretty words to say, and I thank the lord for the people I have found...while Mona Lisa's and Mad Hatters sons of bankers, sons of Lawyers turn around and say good morning to the light....VAYA CON DIOS

Way too Much Thinking

WHAT WERE YOU THINKING! Heard that before, right? I've said it to myself a million times, what were you thinking....

Thinking is the problem here, not the solution. I think because I've been taught, programmed, demanded of and supported in thinking being the way to live my life.As long as I'm thinking I'm pretty much out of range for any other source of inspiration or source of wisdom. In my working with people that are in "recovery", italicized because I don't care for that label being an identity as though people in recovery are separate from all the other people walking around on the planet.Once again, recovery people have been taught to "think" they are different, not normal, as though there is a normal, not.In my work I've asked many times "If you have a problem what do you do about coming up with a solution?" You think about it, right.

Thinking seems to mostly come from old experiences, thoughts, ideas, info, etc...from stuff we've ingested over the course of our lives.All that knowledge is fuel for our minds machinations about who we are, where we are, why we are, are we this, are we that, how do we fit in, how can we be better...Lets go one more step..the mind says, " Is that reasonable?" and we answer our mind, that's what we do, we answer our own mind as though our mind were in charge..is it? Is your mind in charge of your life? Have you ever asked your other self, not the mind self but the one that listens to the mind self, have you ever asked, " Am I my mind", Of course unless you have some awareness beyond the tyranny of your mind you won't get an answer that the mind doesn't craft to fit into it's familiar program. That process alone distorts any new sources of perspective from getting through unscathed.

Beyond all the chatter of mind voices there is a presence that speaks from a deeper, softer, place. Listening to the presence touches feeling and our body. We literally feel the words within. This presence is of the Heart, the sacred heart, eternal heart, the heart of the Mother, Creator, Dreamer. The voice of the heart will not compete with the voices of the mind. Truth has no sense of competition and no need to be right. Truth as brought forward through the voice of the heart is the Divine speaking as Human.

The challenge for all of us who live with "reasonable" as our guide is the challenge to take attention away from the relentless chatter of mind blabber and shift that attention to the feeling and presence of heart language. Living loyal to the mind is living with reaction as the great decider, no W jokes intended but it fits. Our world is the result of how we humans have reacted to our experiences in this world. There wasn't much choice involved, not really. The choices were all limited to the reasons list of options.While we create all this history the Heart goes along for the ride waiting , waiting, for our attention to return to that space within us that has never forgotten what the voice of truth sounds like.That space within us that has been the witness to all the insanity of how we've come to live life in this world.

In my recovery work I've seen over and over people trying to "get it" when getting it is just another aspect of the mind ruling it's domain, you, me, them. We already have "it" we just don't know how to listen and feel with "it"."It" is the presence, truth, Love of life speaking through us and too us. No amount of thinking can make that connection, no amount of figuring it out or being good enough or doing it right can make that connection. That connection has never gone anywhere. That connection is what we are.

Thinking is great as a tool to work through this matrix of life on Earth. Thinking is a great gift when used responsibly. Funny thing is the humans have become thinking junkies and the thinking has lost it's connection to the source that gave it a home in the first place.

My last year living in the Heart of Mexico has brought my attention back to that presence within me and now I see that presence as my guiding light and greatest companion. I'll still think too much but not for nearly as long a time. Ok..time to go...I love you life...Thanks for the little things...Lee

2009 Earth Log- Deep in the Milky Way

The morning came soft and quiet. Middle Tennessee, January, Sunrise.
It's cold outside, white frost blankets the pastures around our double wide. I gotta get up and turn on the heater, the electric heat is too much to sleep well ,so one of us turns it up to 70 degrees when we wake up.
The cows are in the pasture across the road, too far to hear them from inside the house, it's Silent except for the sounds of Bella Lola and Mee sleeping.
Memories flash, I still visit my Dad in the early morning memories that float around my consciousness, he loved Ranch life, cattle, early morning and cold clear air. The storm door on our trailer lets me open the main door and let the light in without freezing us out.
There is a fresh buzz in my body. A new vibe for what I've connected to in my dreaming what my returning to The Ranch will bring. I feel alive and excited and, flash, I'm back in our little beach house in Sayulita looking at the waves, sad creeps into my feelings, sad to be moving on and excited to be coming back to home , Tennessee.
Over the last year I've lived a fantasy and a reality. I've tried to soak up as much of my being in Mexico as I could and know completely that She, The Mother, the heart of Mexico and her people, now beats in my body, in my cells and will do so until I've moved on from being the me in this body. She is only as distant as my attention is turned away from her place within me.

2009 the day of the Lord, When the divinity returns to us....That's Miguel's "Circle of Fire Prayer", I send you my love and respect don Miguel, and thank you for showing up for the children of San Pauncho last October.Dreaming Heaven is our business and what a great business it is.This is the day that I make the commitment to The Mother, La Virgincita, Tonantzin,Maya..our Divine Mother embodied in this Earth and in our form, I make the commitment that for me this is her year and I will carry within me her presence and compassion stopping to remember that she is with me always.

One of my creations will be here at The Ranch where we have an old well that's waited for me to hear her voice..."remember me?", she asks, " I am the well of the Place of the Women in Teotihuacan, I am the heart of the world and I am here within you and around you. Bring me your love and your wounded and we will heal their sadness and fears. Build me a Capilla and decorate me with beauty and dreams and a great light will shine from this place." She called me back from my beach in Mexico to be her helper, of course I say yes,,,although I did ask more than once "are you sure, you know I love my spot in Sayulita and I'll be good"..That's what faith is for me, the willingness to do what needs doing before I let my personality limit me to what is known.

Deep in the Milky Way there is a beautiful green and blue planet that is inhabited by a species of amazing Dreamers who are coming closer to awakening to the truth of their Dreaming. 2009 is here, we are here, the truth is here..all of creation is supporting our coming to the light. That calling has been building for years and all we need do is let go and Dream from Faith.

In the background Mee is running the vacuum cleaner, Bella is decorating a New Years cake for the Laughing Winds Party later and Lola just dumped a whole bottle of chocolate chips on the floor. Thank you Creator for Loving me like this..I am so grateful for it all....Feliz Ano Nuevo...Listen! ....Our Mother is calling you too and she's so happy to have you listen.
Peace Be With You....Lee

Letting Go

I haven't seen the sun for 6 days...Tennessee winter , rain, wind, cold, grey. Driving around Nashville looking at houses that are to big,too much, like fat double cheese burgers, and, too expensive so they sit in the neighborhoods empty with signs proclaiming "Reduced" or "New Price".
There's so much stuff everywhere in this Land of The Not Free at All, that it is depressing and empty feeling.All this stuff that has been given so much importance and value and everywhere I look people are afraid and complaining and alone in their cars and Christmas is depressing for everyone because they can't keep feeding the need for even more to keep how they really feel inside at a distance.
Now it's the day before yesterday , late in the afternoon and Bella, my 6 year old and I are driving through the pastures at The Ranch looking at the cows. The cows have hay and water and they are literally fat and happy...that's a relief, they are happy and some say dumb I don't agree but ok, so what, they aren't stupid like us humans. A cow can find happiness in a good meal and a place out of the cold wind to lay down and rest. We've become way to important to appreciate such simple gifts from life. We demand more and more and more....I miss Mexico.
As we idle through the fields I look across the river and there's a great Bald Eagle sitting on the branch of a huge old Sycamore tree watching us. I stop the pick up and point her out to Bella,"Wow, she's beautiful Daddy", Bella puts down her window and leans out making some call to the Eagle. I don't know where that came from and I smile.
Earlier that morning I was standing in the driveway out side our double wide at the Ranch talking with my friend and partner Julie Norton when I looked across the river, 5 miles from where Bella and I had seen the Eagle, and soaring over the pasture was a great white headed Bald Eagle with his tail feathers fanned out as he hovered over a beaver pond that I'd told my cow crew to leave be since I like to take my girls out to see how the beavers work their magic. The Eagle was looking for a meal and I was needing to see something to remind me that all this creation is here to support the coming of the light back into this world.
Two Bald Eagles in one day when seeing one is rare here and I have to look in my minds mirror and say "Enough with the drama White Boy, remember who you work for and lets keep moving , there's so much to do". I talk to the voices in my head. I don't usually believe them but there are some voices that seem to come from another place, beyond where what I "think" is King.
This Ranch recovery Center began with a vision I had in the desert in Tucson 11 years ago and today I'm realizing I'm returning to bring what has been so graciously shared with me over the last 6 years of living between Mexico and California back to the land where I began to re-dream my reality , from Hell to Heaven on Earth.
In a strange way it's perfect that this American Dream is melting down all around us while The Ranch is coming into it's 10th year of offering perspective to those who can't make the reality they've been living work for them any more.There will be more and more people offered life's great opportunity to question what they believe and let go of how they demand and judge and if the invitation is widely accepted this will be a great place to live a life. If life's invitation is pushed back on and the old ways are defended rather than let go of , well then, like all addicted people there will be new levels of fear and suffering ahead cuse the truth of life just won't go away, thank Buddha.
I hear the wind blowing outside and Mee's drinking all the coffee so I'd better get up and get me some and go seek the light in this gray Tennessee Morning....A Big Christmas Hug to You All, Love, Lee

Simply Aware

It's Wednesday afternoon. Yesterday evening I returned home from another Spirit Recovery Journey to Teotihuacan, Mexico. Entering into the body of Teo, as we call our home there, is always a walk into the truth of life and that truth is a great mystery.This was a special journey that brought together a group of people who all connected like the spokes on a wheel, all pointing to the center. This was the first Buddhist/Toltec Journey I'm aware of, ever , in the ancient history of Teotihuacan.My friend Kevin Griffin brought years of practice and perspective to our adventure leading us all in meditation and Buddhist teaching then shifting to a student on his first journey to Teo.

The blending of meditation with the Buddhist energies and the power of the Toltec mysticism opened a great spectrum of possibilities for all of us involved.

Ok, so I was just writing away when my daughter called me" Daddy, there are whales in the front of our house", Bella was jumping up and down on the front porch and pointing to the great white plumes of spray coming from the family of whales passing by, headed south.From Teotihuacan to the present in a flash, from writing my memory and story to seeing these great creatures of the sea, traveling the coast of Mexico.Life flashes and with it my attention shifts to the horizon and the whales.

Living these days is a mastery of shifting attention. I have a lot of choices , everyday, as we all do. After years of working, living and playing with my self and how I move through time and space as a human being , I have actually become grounded in the choices and the living as a projection and reaction to my choosing.
Standing on the porch with the energy of Teotihuacan buzzing through my veins I'm completely in tune with the Whales, the sound of the waves, my Bella's excitement..and that's it...I don't have so much to say now, so I won't...in fact I want to go for a body surf and get smashed on the sand bar....

Next Saturday we all fly back to Tennessee and The Ranch for Christmas. Like changing channels life keeps moving ..Onward...Here comes Santa Claus...Vaya Con Dios...Lee

Thanksgiving Journey

It's Wednesday Morning, the day before Thanksgiving in the U.S.A.. I'm sitting in my office in the back room of our little Mexican jungle home listening to the sound of Bella,6, and Lola,2, and their cartoons on T.V. Thank You life for those sounds..I love them now more than ever and I've been listening to my babies cartoons for 25 years, my oldest daughter is 25, almost 26.

Just behind the sound of the T.V. I hear the waves breaking on the beach in front of our home..Thank you MaMa Ocean...I have loved you all my life and you have Loved me back in so many ways.

From the kitchen I smell corn meal and Banana pancakes cooking on the grill, that's my Mee, Bella and Lola's Mama, cooking breakfast. Thank you life for setting us up to meet, of course we took it from there and what a trip we are sharing together.

My thanksgiving is all around me, everyday. It's not some far away sentiment for the past or hope for the future. I have no qualifications that must be fullfilled or pieces missing. My life is what it is and I have learned through trial and the art of paying attention that loving life happens right now just the way it is. Thank you life for offering me the opportunity to wake up to my life being my choice and your gift.

First thing this morning I opened my e-mails and had an e-mail from Miles Adcox, our C.E.O. at The Ranch. He was sharing some of what happens at The Ranch on a daily basis and it felt so close and so far away at the same time. Miles has brought 100% of himself to what my partner Julie Norton and I set in motion 10 years ago and he has connected how life works through all of us connected to The Ranch with the rest of the Recovery business with such style and integrity, thank you life for keeping our dream alive and prosperous and always moving forward with you.

As I'm writing this our beloved Nanny {Peggy} and Bubba,{Ted}, Raess have let go of 30+ years in their little magical kingdom on Holmby Ave. in Los Angeles and are moving north to a new magical kingdom in Sonoma County, Ca. Ted and Peggy are the vehicle life used to connect Me and Mee seven years ago. They were my first Toltec teachers and are Bella and Lola's Grand Parents because that's how life connected us. After all Grand Parents are one part blood and three parts love and they got the Love part down like a rug. Thank you life for finding so many cool ways to have our lives interconnected, all we had to do was let it happen.

In a while we'll load up our 98' Suburban Mexi Rig and drive to Guadalajara to spend Thanksgiving with our great friends Lalo and Gina Portillo. Sometimes, the greatest friendships just happen and we didn't have to do anything more than be good and honest with each other and life takes care of the rest. That's exactly what happened between our family and the Portillo family. Thank you life for life being so easy when we stop complicating it.

So to all of us living in this world and all the other worlds that touch ours, Happy Thanks giving.. Humm..by separating the words I just realized that Thanks Giving is like Love or Gratitude, we feel the energy of our offering moving through us into the world and Thanks Giving just feels good moving through. For sure the future will continue to be the result of how we choose, one person at a time, to live and be with and in Life. That's our free will in action and once again, thank you life for allowing us to co-create as we go and hopefully to learn from our creation. We humans have been a bit stuck for a lot of years now but with all the chaos we face today I'm sure we'll wake up to the amazing array of choices that life offers us in every moment and every day.

Finally, to my personal family, I love you all whether we're in this world or wherever we go from here, a big hug to you all. Vaya Con Dios, Lee

I FOUND THE ANSWER IN A LEAF

New York City, November 14-16, 2008
Lee McCormick’s Spirit Recovery Journey
Title: I found the answer in a leaf.
By Michelle Larson
Structured religion has never spoken to me. I have experimented and dabbled
throughout my life, always with the same ultimate outcome…a feeling that it just
doesn’t fit. Living a moral, caring, sharing and loving life has become what I try
to achieve.
As I delve into my forties though, the question is raised – can I follow my own
moral compass, have a higher purpose, feel enlightenment and grow as a human
being without sitting on a pew on Sunday mornings?
I have read dozens of books that say it is possible, yet after the inspiration of the
read fades and the attempts to consistently apply the methods have failed, my
search would begin again. I have traveled the world and found myself enchanted
with the peacefulness of the Hindus in Bali, the Buddhists in Thailand, and
appreciate aspects of Christianity practiced in so many countries around the
globe. Can elements of these, and something entirely different be combined to
create a customized path that I can follow?
It wasn’t a coincidence that I was sent on assignment to cover Lee McCormick’s
Spirit Recovery weekend in New York City. Although I didn’t have a clue what to
expect, my mind and heart were open to the possibilities ahead.
Twenty participants gathered in a dance studio on the fourth floor of a
downtown high rise. The hustle and bustle of the city seemed in contrast to
where I felt my mind needed to be for spiritual enlightenment, but I was going
to leave my preconditions behind and let it unfold as it may. I was just happy
that no one was wearing a purple jogging suit and KoolAid was not available on
the refreshment table. We all took off our shoes and set up chairs in a circle in
the middle of the room. Many people knew each other from previous retreats.
For me, this was a testament to what the experience had to offer.
The first half of the day was spent in our circle with Lee guiding us through the
Toltec philosophy and how we can apply it to our lives. Don Miguel Ruiz’s Toltec
wisdom book, The Four Agreements, was referred to many times. The
agreements are:
1. Be impeccable with your word: Speak with integrity. Say only what
you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip
about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and
love.
2. Don’t take anything personally: Nothing others do is because of
you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their
own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of
others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
3. Don’t make assumptions: Find the courage to ask questions and to
express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as
you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just
this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
4. Always do your best: Your best is going to change from moment to
moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick.
Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-
judgment, self-abuse, and regret.
Lee explained that in the Toltec teachings we are born unconditionally loving
beings, and then we inherit our legacy of judgment. Every human being is
unique with their own experiences, emotional triggers, patterns of responses,
etc. We could all be listening to the same conversation and each of us would
interpret it differently. We only hear what we choose to hear and then we let the
voices in our head take over. But, we are not the voices in our head; we are
simply the one listening. Our minds can turn a simple statement into a mini
series. But, if we stop, feel the emotion, whether it is pain or anger, then ask
ourselves, “Is that the truth, or is it a lie?” If it’s a lie, move on.
In turn, we are completely responsible for how we deliver our message, but we
are not responsible for what others hear. With awareness, we can take
responsibility for our thoughts and actions. The bad agreements we make with
ourselves make us miserable. If we don’t like where our life is going we should
let go of old knowledge and bring in new knowledge. Reprogram and change our
story. Instead of creating a novel too heavy to lift, filled with drama, and tales of
how we have been victimized; we can write a beautiful story that everyone
wants to have a chapter in. Free will gives us the power to recreate our reality.
We can make our lives something that we are happy to show up for.
I then nervously raised my hand and asked the question, “What if your story isn’t
something that is easily changed? What if your father has disowned you and
your whole family is suffering because of it?” Lee said, “That is a perfect
question for what we have in store after lunch.”….”Ugh!!”
After lunch Tian Dayton, who holds a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and an MA in
educational psychology, joined us. She is a therapist in private practice in New
York City. Tian’s warmth was felt immediately. She explained that we would be
doing a pyschodrama.
The purpose of psychodramatic role plays is to resolve through action insight
rather than talk alone. Through role play, thinking, feeling and behavior emerge
simultaneously to allow for a fuller picture of what is being carried in the psyche
to come into view. “Role reversal” allows the protagonist to actually stand in the
shoes of other persons in the role play in order to see the self from the position
of the other and to actually experience being “in the skin” someone else.
I was asked if I would be willing to be the protagonist with my situation. With
heart racing and palms sweating, I agreed. Tian asked me to choose people from
the group to play my family members involved. I chose someone to play my
mom, my dad, both of my sons, and my ex-husband. My cast family and I all
gathered in the center of the circle. I began by speaking to my mom. I faced her
and held her hands. The tears flowed. I said, “I wish that you and dad could
have found a way to communicate with each other about your problems and
your issues. I think it would have saved us all from some of the suffering we are
going through now with your divorce.” Then I switched roles and stood in my
mother’s place. I responded as my mom, “I wish that we could have done that
too honey. I can’t change the past though. I can only do my best now.” I then
stood in front of my father. I swallowed deeply and through my gasps from
crying said, “How could you disown me? What is wrong with you? Don’t you
have a heart? I have children and I can’t imagine my life without them? I know
that this is the worst time in your life and I want to help you through it, but you
won’t let me in. You hold on to your anger like an appendage. Is this working for
you somehow? You disowned your mother and your brother fifteen years ago
and you didn’t look back. How can you be so cold?” I then switched roles and
had to stand in my father’s place. I responded as him, “You just don’t get it. I’m
done with you people.” This went on, back and forth for about 45 minutes. It
was gut wrenching, but with Tian’s guidance and the help of the brave people
playing my family members, I got through it. In the end, I felt sympathy for my
father and I knew that I could have a happy life, with or without him. I resigned
the idea of being able to control anyone, but me. Tian had me assign an angel to
look after my dad. And Lee gave me an amazing gift. He told me that the next
time I see my dad, go up to him and simply say, “I’m going to love you whether
you love me or not.” I resisted the idea at first, but the more I let it sink in, the
more I knew it was exactly what I needed to do. It was time for me to take
responsibility for my own emotions and actions. My father’s response doesn’t
matter.
After more than an hour of playing out my psychodrama, I was beginning to feel
guilty that I was taking up too much of the group’s time with my problems.
When we were done, Tian asked each person in the group to tell me what they
thought and how they could relate it to their own lives.
What happened next has changed my life forever. I was overwhelmed to
discover that each person witnessing this painful exercise was able to apply it to
their own lives and their own story. Some had gone through a similar scenario
and identified with me, while others related to my sons or my mother. It was
amazing. And honestly, I really feel like I’m done with it. I can move on.
Whether acting out the drama or bearing witness to it, this is an incredibly
powerful way of resolving painful relationship issues and connecting people
together. The love in the room was palpable.
More members of the group opened up and freed themselves from the part of
their story that wasn’t serving them anymore. One grieved over the love that she
never received from her mother. Another woman showed us the pain that she
feels being a black woman in a society that sees beauty as blonde haired and
blue eyed. And someone else worked through her horrific childhood filled with
abuse. Our stories were different, yet our pain the same.
Saturday felt like a reunion of twenty best friends. Lee continued his teachings
and we absorbed his words like a bunch of sponges. We walked along the river
through the city with our minds and hearts open. We visited The Chapel of
Sacred Mirrors, an incredible gallery of work by Alex Grey where a series of
paintings allowed us to see ourselves and each other as reflections of the divine.
At night we met in Time Square for the spectacular theatre production of The
Lion King. We had dinner at midnight at a New York style deli. Getting to know
each other and ourselves.
Sunday, our last day, was met with mixed feelings of being elated from the
experience and the connections, but also a real sense of knowing that it was
about to end and it would be up to each of us to continue the practice.
We gathered in the morning, getting ready to walk to Wall Street. Lee asked us
to keep our minds clear and focused on the answer, whatever that meant to
each of us. He asked us to look for something that was symbolic of the answer
as we walked. The group divided into small groups and talked and laughed, like
close friends do. I walked alone for a bit and I took in the beauty. The fall leaves
covered the streets and sidewalks with a blanket of gold, amber and ruby. I
picked up a perfect bright leaf and decided that this was my answer. A leaf holds
tight to the tree until it can no longer hold on, eventually it has no choice but to
let go, the cool breeze picks it up and carries it away from the only place it has
ever known, but the leaf knows it is time to fly and land where it may.
I place the leaf in my pocket.
We arrive on Wall Street and the mood changes. Lee asked us to gather close, to
close our eyes and feel the fear that is encompassed in this space. Then he told
us to turn to see Trinity Church at the end of the street. It was glowing in the
sunlight and wrapped in shadow; a magical sight. The bells were ringing as if to
say, “I’m here. Don’t forget what is important.” We walk to the church and enter.
The energy inside was in startling contrast to the outside. There was such peace
in this sanctuary. We allowed it to sink in. Lee then led us out the back door of
the church into a beautiful old cemetery. We gathered again and closed our
eyes. Lee asked us to think of it as a place of change. He said, “Pick up a leaf
and walk alone in silence, contemplating what the leaf signifies to you. Hold on
to it or let it go. It is up to you.” With my hand in my coat pocket I touch the leaf
that I picked up earlier and thought, “Was that a coincidence?” I told myself to
not over think it. Pulling the leaf from my pocket, I held it gently in my fingers. I
slowly strolled along the cemetery path. After a bit I stopped in front of a
beautiful group of tombstones and I released the leaf, watching it fall…letting go,
letting go, letting go.
To say that I am grateful for this experience would be a vast understatement. I
have made genuine connections with the most warm-hearted, loving people. I
have a new view of myself and what is possible. I am excited for the journey
ahead.
My new question is, “What would LOVE do?” I like it. It fits.